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30

Sep

New You Up? The Podcast: Dear Gabi: Like Dear Abby, But Drunker

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My mom hates this picture. She thinks my smeared eye make-up looks like a black eye. 

But she doesn’t seem to mind the toothpaste AKA fake cum stains. 

On the latest You Up? The Podcast, Dave is out of town.. So I talk to myself.. after drinking two old fashioneds. Just like Don Draper. 

I respond to tweets and texts from You Uppers (yeah, that’s what we’re calling our listeners). I discuss the fine line between creepy and romantic. How Rom Coms aren’t real life (sadly), and where to take a first date. Oh and I play a voicemail from that guy who waited a week… yep a WEEK to text me. Add that to the list of things you don’t want to hear when you’re getting dumped

And because I’m clearly so over this… here’s a Thought Catalog article about it too

As a little preview of what’s in store. Here’s my friend g-chatting me a play by play of the pod:

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mymommyissuesblog:

My dad on Aretha Franklin’s cover of Adele’s Rolling In The Deep. 
Like father like daughter. 
"But the bass player is really good." 

My Dad on #ArethaFranklin. 

mymommyissuesblog:

My dad on Aretha Franklin’s cover of Adele’s Rolling In The Deep

Like father like daughter. 

"But the bass player is really good." 

My Dad on #ArethaFranklin. 

mymommyissuesblog:

Was not aware my Mom followed sports… 

My Mom on sports.. 

Follow My Mommy Issues.. more gems to come. Once I unblock my mom’s cell. 

mymommyissuesblog:

Was not aware my Mom followed sports… 

My Mom on sports.. 

Follow My Mommy Issues.. more gems to come. Once I unblock my mom’s cell. 

29

Sep

Why Real-Life Dating Is Just As Brutal As Online Dating

My first piece on thoughtcatalog. Thanks for the inspiration random guy at bar xo 

hellogiggles:

9 AIM AWAY MESSAGES THAT STILL APPLY TO LIFE TODAY
by Gabi Conti
http://ift.tt/1qGmiAl
BRB. Latest piece. This goes out to all my AIM crushes. 

hellogiggles:

9 AIM AWAY MESSAGES THAT STILL APPLY TO LIFE TODAY

by Gabi Conti

http://ift.tt/1qGmiAl

BRB. Latest piece. This goes out to all my AIM crushes. 

hellogiggles:

ALL THE WONDERFUL PERKS OF SLEEPING ALONE
by Gabi Conti
http://ift.tt/1rt54KC
Sleeping alone is the new spooning. According to my latest Hello Giggles piece. 

hellogiggles:

ALL THE WONDERFUL PERKS OF SLEEPING ALONE

by Gabi Conti

http://ift.tt/1rt54KC

Sleeping alone is the new spooning. According to my latest Hello Giggles piece. 

11

Sep

hellogiggles:

THINGS YOU DON’T WANT TO HEAR WHEN YOU’RE BEING DUMPED
by Gabi Conti
http://ift.tt/1tMJvYU
Latest piece. Just a little FYI for future break-ups. xo

04

Sep

College Offering Course on Selfies

On a bright note…wish this was true. 

I Don’t Want To Be One Of Those People Who Makes A Celebrity’s Death About Themselves….

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And with this one, I can’t.

I do not have a picture of me and Joan Rivers, so I guess I failed.

I’m bad with deaths in general. I never know what to say.

My first instinct upon hearing that this comedy legend has passed was to write.

So I guess I have to make this kind of about me, as she was such a huge inspiration.

I met her last year when I was working on The Jeselnik Offensive. She was a fireball. Full of energy and exactly what I expected. I’ll never forget how we had to fax her (not e-mail) but fax her over the material for the show, and she faxed back her jokes, handwritten. I found this both awesome and charming. Very Sinatra “did it my way,” mentality.

I never got to say to Joan, what I wanted to say. I was worried it was something she probably heard a million times, or it was cliché.

What I wanted to say was, “Thank you.”

Joan has paved the way for so many female comedians. She is the reason I am pursuing comedy. I remember idolizing her as a kid, watching her on the red carpet. Loving how real she was. 

So I went to Emerson College and studied Broadcast Journalism because of Joan. I was lucky enough to cover the Emmys and the Oscars on the Red Carpet. But since this was for college, I wasn’t allowed to ask the celebrities, “who they were wearing,” or even make fun of their fashion choices. Which was very difficult for me as this was 2008-9, also known as the year of the orange spray tan.

That summer I performed stand-up comedy for the first time and fell in love. That following summer I moved to Los Angeles to pursue comedy. Shocking colleagues that I wasn’t moving to Iowa to cover the local news.

And then I saw A Piece of Work. And that’s when it all clicked. You cannot watch that documentary and not respect Joan. What an incredible life. What an incredible career. The obstacles she overcame and how she was still hustling is truly inspirational.

So Joan, thank you. Thank you for your inspiration, for working so hard and never giving up and paving the way. You will always inspire me, and now I will work harder than ever in hopes of one day inspiring someone else. 

Thank you.

Rest in Peace, Joan. 

29

Aug

That time I wrote Mark Zuckerberg a letter. 

That time I wrote Mark Zuckerberg a letter.